V Festival 2008

The 2008 Virgin Mobile V Festival was supposed to be all about ringing in the changes. Unfortunately the new layout, which may as well have been devised by a five year old using crayons and sugar paper, does nothing to enhance the festival experience and only adds to what quickly becomes a trial in survival.

For those who have been before, the main V Stage now finds itself repositioned on the site of the former Channel 4 Stage. Presumably this was an attempt to provide an unhampered view of the headline acts, made seemingly impossible in its former location because of that infamous and pesky tree. But in truth there was a charm in watching bands from the hill, especially for short and/or lazy people. The resultant effect is that twice as many people are now crammed like wellie-wearing sardines in front of a stage they can’t really hear and certainly can’t see.

Managing to cultivate a general vibe of grumbling malcontent amongst many festival goers, V2008, more than any previous year, seems to have re-branded itself as the Club 18-30 holiday from hell – with the occasional decent band and minus the whipped cream.

A whole stage is dedicated to people who want to become underwear models, featuring many a scantily clad dance routine. But this at least is entertaining. The queues for drinks tokens and subsequently the drink itself are in excess of an hour meaning that everyone is compelled to purchase nine pints at a time. By two in the afternoon a third of festival goers are unable to stand, most men have removed their shirts to reveal sunburnt torsos, and are scrapping with their shrieking, weeping girlfriends like it’s going out of fashion.

The much favoured ‘Text the Fest’ feature provided, as it does every year, the chance for hilarious punters to see their witticisms up on the big screen. In amongst the obvious poetic highlights including ‘Bosher has a huge ding dong that’s why I love him’, one astute individual remarked to a huge cheer ‘Whistles are the work of the devil.’ And in the quantity they are found (and blown) at V2008, indeed they are.

Saturday starts in a retro mood with Shed Seven gracing the Channel 4 Stage, good for nostalgia value, bad for any kind of current relevance. A mere 20 minute fight-for-your- life struggle over to the main V Stage and Alanis Morissette is already doing her thing, wild hair akimbo. Despite indulging in a boringly obscure set, the main problem here – due to become a recurring theme – is the sound quality which is borderline appalling. Venturing more than fifty yards back from the front of the stage is audio suicide.

Lovely, throaty, tartan clad Amy Macdonald happily became the first saviour of the day with an engaging and beautifully executed set. Aside from her slight preoccupation with the weather Macdonald is a ray of sunshine, in part thanks to a gorgeous reworking of Springsteen classic ‘Dancing in the Dark’.

By mid-afternoon the JJB Arena was clearly the place where all the cool kids hung out. The Sugababes drawing an immense crowd were flawlessly slick, delivering an immaculate set complete with any favourite from the SB back catalogue that the heart desired and a fantastic cover of the En Vogue 90s hit ‘Don’t Let Go (Love)’. Following suit were The Twang and Jamie T, with their cockney – or possibly mockney – ska/punk infused brand of musical shenanigans. The early hour didn’t prevent either from stirring up the tent in what were jubilant and energetic performances.

Old boys of the V Festival The Stereophonics were predictably well received in their role of traditional crowd-pleasers, but produced no surprises to speak of. Fellow V veterans and headline act Muse however have the ability to constantly amaze and delight a well oiled and gasping crowd with their elaborate and high tech trickery. As the lights fell a constellation of giant satellites mounted on and around the stage leap into action. Cue dramatic shots of static on the big screens and a laser show and Muse once again manage to create the perfect visual depiction of their sound.

The Muse formula of start slow then break out into the good stuff naturally applies to every song, and a mix of the old and new seems to appeal to an audience of both fans and the indifferent alike, if only because of the spectacle.

Rare though it is that a band should have everyone singing every word, Sunday’s early V Stage offering The Feeling manage this in droves. Leading on from a slightly disappointing set from Girls Aloud, their infectiously upbeat sound induced smiles aplenty and happy dancing to tracks from their own two albums and covers ‘Take On Me’ and ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’. Calvin Harris on his last live outing for six months had a similarly enthused JJB Arena ripe for the taking, which he did with aplomb.

It’s actually a pity that seeing Mrs Blake Fielder-Civil (aka Amy Winehouse) perform now brings expectations of the opportunity to watch a complete train wreck in action. Hot on the heels on her previous performance at Weston Park marred by rain, tardiness, booing, crying etc, she had obviously been well briefed (or possibly sedated) into not speaking to crowd at all.

Rattling through a standard set of originals and Motown renditions, there was no hint of personality or charisma, not even a mention of the incarcerated Blakey. Resembling a nervous little girl Winehouse fiddled with her dress throughout, seemly threatening to flash her knickers at a terrified audience. What was actually a musically competent performance was sadly lacking in any element of showmanship.

The Kings of Leon on the other hand were in no danger of flashing anything as they delivered a solid and hardy well organised set. Mutually adoring, a responsive crowd were rewarded for their efforts by a clearly appreciative band.

The climax of the Chelmsford leg of the V Festival came in the form of seminal Wigan act The Verve, as their comeback train continues full steam ahead. For angular front man Richard Ashcroft, every performance is taken with a measured degree of seriousness, as he symbolically gestures his thanks to a cheering crowd.

The oldies were there in the form of ‘The Rolling People’ and ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’ amongst others, but the decision to end on new single ‘Love Is Noise’ from their forthcoming album ‘Forth’ rather than the more predictable ‘Bittersweet Symphony,’ is a sign of a band ready to move forward – and good for them.

Musically V2008 was not quite on the par of previous years, but was by no means diabolical. In turn too, purveyors of the festival are accustomed to the unashamed and unrelenting corporate sponsorship. What really lets the side down is the disappointingly unavoidable atmosphere of aggression emanating from the huge and restless crowd that hangs around the site and makes for a less than relaxing and free-spirited event.

As one audience member remarked to his mate; “The thing about V is that every year you arrive and then instantly think, ‘What the f**k am I doing here again?’” Spot on Sir.