The Zetland Players - Making Friends With...

by Alex Gale

Sailing a haribo boat guided by mouth organs

"Then one day, sailing a haribo boat and guided by mouth organs up the good river Notderivative m o r shite arrive three young boys with interesting names Tobias, Wiper and Adrian Zookrow. An uplifting gang, a real alternative to Jandi, going by the name of The Zetland Players."

So Jack Johnson and Sandi Thom had a baby and for what seemed like forever it moped about, trailing guff behind it as, inexplicably, all the parents in the village followed it around giving it fifteen quid each. Jandi Jom is its name. This goes on and on, right minded people don’t know why but everywhere they look is little Jandi’s smug face, picking up an award at the school music fair, playing a gig to help sell cars at Mr Yamaguchi’s Honda dealership, on the front cover of the local Chronicle’s Sunday Supplement. It seems like you can’t get away from Jandi Jom. 

Then one day, sailing a haribo boat and guided by mouth organs up the good river Notderivative m o r shite arrive three young boys with interesting names Tobias, Wiper and Adrian Zookrow. An uplifting gang, a real alternative to Jandi, going by the name of The Zetland Players. These boys are funny, in a Paul Simon kind of way, swinging like a world war two big band and happier than a barrel full of cockatoos. They’ve come to make friends with the villagers. Nothing more. They don’t want trouble with Jandi, they just want to get along and try to give people a good time.

Problem is that the people in the village don’t want a good time. They haven’t wanted to have a good time since the reverend Coldplay took over at the parish church. They’re going to ignore the boys. Oh they’ll let them play on the green from time to time but they’re not going to give them fifteen quid, or pay for a weekend coach trip to Paris to see them at the Stade de France.

This is a decent bunch of songs. It is not going to set anyone on fire, but it may warm people’s hearts for a moment or two and that can only be a good thing.

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